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5 Signs Your Teen Is in an Unhealthy Friendship

Two people talking about the signs of an unhealthy friendship

As a parent, worrying about your child’s social life is natural, especially when they enter their teenage years. Teen friendships play a big role in your child’s life, shaping their self-esteem, behavior, and values. Still, it’s also a period of vulnerability where issues like bullying, peer pressure, and toxic relationships can quickly arise.

While most friendships are positive and supportive, unhealthy relationships can negatively impact a teenager’s emotions and create mental health problems. In this blog post, we’ll define the signs of a toxic teenager and obsessive friendships your teen might be better off without. We’ll also provide some tips to help navigate teenage friendship issues as a parent.

What Teenage Friendship Issues Should You Be Aware of as a Parent?

Teen friendship issues are not uncommon during adolescence. Aside from the usual ups and downs of teenage life, there are several issues that parents should be aware of when it comes to their child’s social life. These include:

  • Cyberbullying
  • Cliques
  • Anxiety
  • Depression

Sometimes, changes in behavior or mood can signify that something is not right with your teen’s friendship. It’s essential to keep an open line of communication with your child and to listen carefully to their concerns.

5 Signs of an Unhealthy Friendship in Teens

1. Emotional Drain

Healthy friendships should leave your teen feeling happy and supported. If a friendship constantly leaves them upset, anxious, or emotionally exhausted, it’s a sign the relationship is taking more than it gives. Emotional drain often happens when one friend relies too heavily on the other for validation or support, putting too much pressure on your teen.

What to Watch For:

  • Your teen often comes home irritable, distant, or unusually quiet after spending time with this friend.
  • They hesitate or avoid making plans with the friend but can’t explain why.
  • They seem stressed about maintaining the friendship, like they feel obligated to “fix” the other person’s problems.

2. Disrespect for Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in any friendship, but unhealthy dynamics often ignore them. A friend who disrespects boundaries may tease your teen in ways that feel hurtful, pressure them into uncomfortable situations, or expect constant access to their time and attention. This can leave your teen feeling like they don’t have control over the relationship.

What to Watch For:

  • The friend repeatedly makes jokes or comments that embarrass or hurt your teen, even after being asked to stop.
  • They push your teen to share private information or participate in activities they’re uncomfortable with, like gossiping or lying.
  • The friend insists on being included in all your teen’s plans or gets upset when your teen doesn’t respond immediately.

3. Controlling or Possessive Behavior

A controlling or possessive friend often tries to limit your teen’s social circle or activities. They might discourage your teen from spending time with others, criticize their hobbies, or guilt them into prioritizing the friendship over everything else. This behavior can lead to isolation and make your teen feel trapped.

What to Watch For:

  • Your teen starts pulling away from other friends or stops attending activities they used to enjoy.
  • They seem to prioritize this friend above all else, even at the expense of their own needs or relationships.
  • The friend gets upset or angry when your teen spends time with others or doesn’t include them.

4. Negative Influence

Unhealthy friends may encourage your teen to engage in risky or harmful behaviors as a way to test loyalty or push boundaries. This could include experimenting with substances, skipping school, or breaking rules. Teens often feel pressure to go along with these behaviors to avoid conflict or rejection.

What to Watch For:

  • Sudden changes in your teen’s behavior, such as lying about their whereabouts or engaging in activities they wouldn’t normally consider.
  • A noticeable decline in school performance or increased defiance at home.
  • A friend who downplays the risks of their actions or dismisses your teen’s concerns.

5. Jealousy and Emotional Manipulation

Jealousy and manipulation often go hand-in-hand in unhealthy or obsessive teen friendships. A manipulative friend may guilt-trip your teen, exaggerate their own struggles to demand attention, or use phrases like “If you were really my friend, you’d…” to control their behavior.

What to Watch For:

  • Your teen seems constantly worried about upsetting their friend or feels like they’re walking on eggshells.
  • The friend tries to make your teen feel guilty for spending time with others or prioritizing their own needs.
  • Your teen expresses confusion or stress about how to handle the friendship but feels unable to step away.

How to Stop a Teenager From Hanging Out with Bad Friends

It’s important to remember that teenagers are still developing their emotional skills and may struggle to identify or walk away from bad friendships. As a parent, you can help by:

Communicating Openly

Encourage honest conversations about their friends and the potential consequences of hanging out with people who may lead them astray. Listen to their side without judgment, as this fosters trust and understanding.

Setting Clear Expectations

Set boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and the type of friends your teen should associate with. Be clear about your concerns, but also explain why you want to protect them.

Encouraging Positive Activities

Get your teenager involved in positive, structured activities like sports, clubs, or volunteer work. These environments naturally promote healthier friendships and social circles.

Being a Positive Role Model

Show your teen what healthy relationships look like by practicing respect, empathy, and good communication with your own friends and peers. Teens often model their behavior after adults in their lives.

Supporting Gradual Changes

If your teen is heavily influenced by these friends, expect gradual changes. Allow them time to develop new interests and find healthier friendships. Avoid pushing them too hard, as this can make them more resistant.

Limiting Contact with Negative Friends

While it’s important to guide your teen toward healthier friendships, it’s also necessary to manage how much contact they have with negative influences. Start by setting limits on when and where they can see these friends, particularly when there’s a risk of them engaging in unhealthy behaviors.

However, this can be a tricky conversation to navigate, especially when your teen resists. Here are some strategies for handling this without shutting them down:

  • Explain the Reasons, Not Just the Rules: Share your concerns and focus on the potential impact of their friendships on their future.
  • Involve Your Teen in the Decision-Making Process: Offer alternatives to seeing these friends, like meeting in group settings or at community events.
  • Respect Their Emotions: Acknowledge their feelings and allow them to express themselves without dismissing their concerns.
  • Provide New Social Opportunities: Help them connect with activities or communities that encourage healthier friendships. Don’t get discouraged if they’re not interested, they may just need time to come around.
  • Stay Consistent but Flexible: Stick to your limits, but remain open to gradual adjustments, showing you’re working together for their well-being.

Getting Professional Help if Needed

If the situation doesn’t improve or becomes more complex, consider seeking guidance from a therapist who specializes in teen relationship couneling. Professional support can help address underlying issues and offer strategies for healthier social interactions.

By approaching the situation with empathy and patience, you can help your teen make better choices and build stronger, more positive relationships.

Help Your Teen Form Healthy Connections

If you’re concerned about your teen’s friendships and their impact on their future, Imagine by Northpoint is here to help. Our teen relationship counseling helps teens identify healthy and unhealthy friendships, empowering them to make better social choices. By learning these skills now, they’ll be better prepared for the challenges of young adulthood. 

Contact us today to learn how our counseling services can support your teen’s growth and well-being.

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